FICTION – How bad can it get?

Life has become harder for me now - anywhere I go I am told to do “that thing” I did years ago. I take a flight back in time and everything seemed so nice, like a fairy tale. The golden period of my life and I was riding the Milky Way… way-way above all the Bollywood stars. I was really enjoying “that thing” I did on the 70mm and everyone was praising me, applauding my act but today things have changed.

My life has become miserable and all this has happened due to “that thing” that stupid thing I did a long time ago. I ask myself, was it a popularity stunt then or just a brainless act of curse, now coming to life after all these years. Anywhere I go, may it be a restaurant or government office I am told to do “that thing” and if I don’t oblige, I am treated as an outcast. All along I have been telling myself to just do it if I want to get things done and then just hope it doesn’t happen again.

I remember it was a rainy night and I was walking along the roadside, suddenly a guy with sad face wearing an old fashioned duck-back raincoat stopped next to me. I was scared not for my life or honor but for the haunting memories of “that thing” people tell me to do every now and then. I crossed my fingers and prayed to God in fear. The guy called me closer and I did so, to my surprise he was Ambani’s nephew. I did remember that face, as he was the one who started the chain reaction of “that thing” in public few years ago. It all started as a prank but now it has stuck on to me as a bad sticker, you see many a times on old Fiat cars.

He had an evil smirk on his face and I knew what was coming next, suddenly my attention got diverted on to his bicycle with a punctured tyre. In a flash, leaflets of old newspaper came flying in front of my eyes and all the paper headlines were saying only one thing Ambani’s nephew caught red handed by IAF security guards in Dheradun. Well to be precise he was caught yellow handed and not red handed I smiled sheepishly. One fine night Ambani’s nephew managed to sneak into IAF compounds in a drunken state and god only know why the hell he painted an IAF Mig-29, yellow?

For few seconds I was feeling better, this flash of memory brought smile to my face after long time. I still remember, Ambani’s nephew was expelled from the Ambani family and all he got from his ancestors property was a stupid bicycle with a punctured tyre. I felt calm as if I had got my revenge indirectly, but suddenly I plunged back to reality and found myself in front of this disgusting nephew. Slowly clouds of fear engrossed me completely and I heard the same old words coming out of his mouth - hey you… do “that thing”, I refused and tried to make a bold stance in front of him but the boy still had his connections. Ambani’s nephew threatened me saying, if I don’t do “that thing” he will tell his friend to stop my grandfather’s pension. His friend was a deputy Head clerk working in the Govt. Pay & Accounts Office (Freedom-Fighter Pension Dept.)

I was helpless and once again I said to myself just do it, this time for my grandfather. I did “that thing” again and he went off on his bicycle with a punctured tyre. That was it - I had enough of it and I decided to take this matter more seriously. With all my money, I migrated to Australia where I bought a ranch outside Melbourne city and started an ostrich-breeding farm. In downtown Melbourne city I opened a Dosa Dinner joint and it had a variety of south Indian delicacies in non-vegetarian form. I preferred presenting them differently rather than making just a large paper masala dosa. Dosa Dinner was an instant hit with the Aussies.

Now I am happy and content but still when I am relaxing in my ranch amidst all the ostrich’s, I talk to myself and I think of those golden days when “that thing” was a super-hit with the crowd, yes “that thing” I did it for the first time, when that not so good chunky hero hit me with a paper ball on my bum while filming that famous song “Didi Tera Dewar Diwana” – wonderful - wonderful indeed…

Hey hey what the heck? Why all of a sudden these ostriches are staring and beeping at me beep beep beep (Alarm Clock)… wide awake and to my surprise it’s not an ostrich just Chotu, the clapper boy “Madam, The Shot Is Ready”. Now very well back to senses, I saw myself in one of my weirdest dreams till date.